Distant Lover

Artist- Marvin Gaye
Song- Distant Lover
Album- Let's Get It On



Distant lover, lover
So many miles away
Heaven knows that I long for you
Every night, every night
I plan, sometimes I dance
Through the day
Distant lover
You should think about me
And say a prayer for me
Please, please baby
Think about me sometimes
Think about me here
Here in misery
Misery
As I reminisce, oh baby, through our joyful summer together
The promises we made
All the daily letters
Then, all of the sudden
Everything seemed to explode
Now, I gaze out my window
Sugar, down a lonesome road
Distant lover
Sugar, how can you treat my heart
So mean and cruel
Sugar, sugar
Treat every moment that I spent with you
I treasure like it was a precious jewel
Please, Lord have mercy
Please, come back, baby
Somethin' I wanna say
When you left
You took all of me with you
Do you wanna hear me scream
Come back and hold me, girl


I've listened to this song many times in my life. For the last few months though it's been on repeat, if not on my iPod then definitely in my mind. Marvin at his best is always affecting in his phrasing and anguish, and on this song he's masterful. It has more of the mid 70's Philly soul vibe, heavily orchestrated, plenty of sweeping strings and horns, bassline at the forefront, percussive guitar. And Marvin vocals just float over all of it, like a falcon's wings cutting through wind currents. Yeah, it's like that.

One of my coworkers at the record store I use to work at was a big fan of Jeff Buckley, and upon finding out that I thought he was just okay, responded "You'll start to like Jeff Buckley as soon as you experience real pain in your life."
At the time, I thought it was something rather presumptuous to say, how did he know I hadn't experienced pain in my life? More importantly, I didn't think my inability to empathize was the reason I did not think Grace was one of the 100 greatest albums of all time.

But now I understand what he meant. You certainly don't have to go through the exact situation the artist is singing about in order to understand the song or have an appreciation for it. But your relationship with the song changes as the situation morphs from unimaginable, to something theoretical, to something that you've actively experienced. At that point, it's like the singer gets you perfectly and the song becomes a flawless representation of that moment.

And it started out as unimaginable. I'd never do something like that again, I tried it once and it didn't work out. But it was a juvenile relationship really, looking back, I'm pretty sure it didn't count. And then it became theoretical. After it's been going on for awhile, after you've let your guard down, it becomes a possibility. And as the both of you go down that road together, the dangers are known and openly discussed. You don't have anything to lose discussing the possibilities though, it's all for practice, for pretend, you're playing soldier safely inside the fort. And it stayed, for a long time at the theoretical level. No matter how much you contemplate it you're never completely prepared. Now, every night it's real, sometimes it's a little too real- and the only recourse is the equivalent of hugging a phone. Even now I'm still trying to get my sea legs so to speak, it's a process that even seasoned pros have to play by ear, or so I'm told. And it's about learning what I can and cannot handle and always being as honest as possible.

It's more than a little cheesy, playing "Distant Lover" over and over again when you're in a long distance relationship. Even if it is a form of therapy. It helps that the singer is an all time great; when I play it, I can legitimately say that it's one of my favorite songs. And Marvin's so damn smooth with it, like I said, combining vulnerability and masculinity is no easy task but he did it effortlessly in song form. In the actual world, I try and fail too often at it- coming off either as a softie or as a colossal jerk. But really it's that one part, at the beginning, the part that Kanye West samples on "Spaceship." It's when he says "heaven knows that I long for you" and he goes up a little bit higher. Then he tops it off- "every night... every night." I could loop that back over and over again; it's a good approximation for how I feel at times. I get it now, I'll call it the Jeff Buckley Corollary. And I think I'll take another listen to Grace.